Once upon a time

Once upon a time, I was a child, I got every single thing I wanted, if I cried, I’d get pampered, if I laughed, everyone would be happy… Everything was perfect up until I realized that I wasn’t as free as I wanted so I craved to grow older, fast… I wanted to be as grown as that aunt or uncle I saw while getting scolded and because I paid more attention to growing up, I barely enjoyed the process of growing up, I just grew… Isn’t this everyone’s story? We were all kids who wanted to grow up so we wouldn’t have to get beatings or scoldings… Or it isn’t?

Now, I’m as old as that Aunt I looked up to, now I do whatever I want without getting the beatings or scoldings, now I don’t bother about school or not getting the mathematics textbook… I don’t bother about the “big girls or boys”. I don’t think about those teachers who don’t like me and would tell my parents lies about me… Now I don’t have to worry about dressing to match my mates… Maybe I still do but I know its not as crazy as before… Why?

Why? Why?? Why??? Oh it’s nothing actually, I just have to struggle with getting admission into the best university. Oh, its nothing serious, I just have to get the course that I want. Yes, I have to worry about my CGPA… Yes, I only have to worry about not getting on the bad sides of lecturers because they’re the gods… Oh, that\’s not all, I only have to worry about my siblings? My parents?

That’s not a lot, is it? I have to worry about finding love, the right person… I only have to worry about getting a job that’ll pay with my sad ass CGPA, I have to think about those people who read like I do but get much more better results… I only have to worry about why I’m different. I only have to worry about getting married to the right one so I won’t be sad all my life. I only have to worry about child birth, now this scares me to the core… Now I have to worry about surviving… I have to worry about not being too fat or too thin… I have to worry about my skin, I have to worry about getting old… I only have to worry about living a fulfilled life… I only have to worry about making my parents more than happy because they’ve done more than usual… So how do I look at my father and say “daddy, I’m struggling with school”… Lol, with what courage? Do we not wonder about these things?

I only have to think about not getting in trouble, I have to worry about not dying, I have to worry about not loosing a leg or hand… I have to worry about not offending someone so I no go enter wahala… I pretty much have to worry about everything… Don’t we all?

And so I think back and remember that time. The time I wanted to grow up so bad and stop getting beatings and realize that I still get flogged everyday by life… If its not someone you love dying? Its you worrying about how many people actually like your blog, or it’s you worrying about not giving up… Am I giving up? Am I not? I’ll never know… And so when you read this, you realize that you can relate with this… So ask yourself, is this what you traded childhood for? Is this worth it? Because to me, it doesn’t feel like it.