Hi!
For someone who likes to write to “detoxify” and “sieve” through my thoughts, it has been such a long, long time since I did that. A long time that seems so short to me. I bet a lot of people can relate to this: how time flies when one’s just existing but stills when one’s working. I do hope that we’re all weaving through life as easily as we can.
I stumbled on a post on Facebook (Yes, I do use Facebook). It had this picture that I could totally relate with and all of a sudden, my jumbled up thoughts seemed to finally make sense. You know? Q: What are you thinking about? R: I do not know how to word the thoughts I have. Does that ring a bell? No? Just me? Okay…
Just like a lot of my articles explain, I am always knee-deep in confusion. And as ridiculous as this may sound, I have been such a confused person for quite a while. For as long as I can remember. I’ll go back to when I was 16 as that’s how far back I can remember. I remember it being my last year in high school and I had to fill in the space that read future profession in the yearbook but I couldn’t figure out what motivated me. Unsure, I just filled “a lawyer”. Before then, I wanted to be a lot of things; a pilot, an architect, an engineer. Well, that was until I figured out that I needed to be smart and know mathematics. It’s safe to say that I still do not know mathematics.
I recently became very intrigued by the word “context” and how deep meaning can be. I think that to be smart can mean quite a number of things. But of course, the first thought you have is the general meaning. I think that understanding from a younger age that there can be a difference between the level of comprehension people possess, thus making them smarter has helped me a lot.
I was blessed to have parents who showed me quite early that my world holds a lot of colors; I figured out not long after that the recurring colors were black and white. That’s why they’re my favorite colors. In other words, I had to learn to put in a lot more effort if I wanted to succeed. What do I want to succeed at? I still have not found that out. This is probably the case for a lot of people, right?
I recently had a discussion which led to me being told that “I may be a little too strict with myself”. I don’t mind people and their thoughts because it’s usually just your thought that should matter to you. This means we just need to pick out whatever meaning we want. Or just do like I do; I don’t hear them. This stood out to me because I marveled, for a few minutes about the idea of not having to be strict with myself. That would most definitely mean I wouldn’t achieve quite as much.
Do we all experience the same moods? Go all out or not go in at all? Completely chilled or completely stressed? No in-between(s)?
The picture read “I’ve always had a dream, but I’ve never had a plan. I knew I wanted to do many things, but didn’t know what I should be doing”. Of course I have to be as strict as I can be if I answer a lot of questions with “I don’t know”?
Why? I really do not know. I do sincerely hope that weaving through life gets easier even with the constant trials it may throw at us. Let’s continue to weave through, shall we?
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